Ask a psychologist: How to make New Year's resolutions that stick
According to a study published in the Journal of Clinical Psychology, fewer than 10 per cent of us keep our New Year’s resolutions, even though we’ve been doing this for more than 4,000 years when ancient Babylonians started setting personal goals at this time of the year.
To find out why our average is so low even after all these years, we’re asking Karen Rowa, Clinical Psychologist at St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton why we fail and how to make resolutions that stick.
Q: Do you think it is near impossible to keep New Year’s resolutions?
Karen Rowa, Psychologist: Not necessarily. It just depends on if they’re realistic, personally important, and you’re flexible with the bumps that will come along the way.
Q: Are there personality traits one can work on to become better at keeping your resolve?
Karen Rowa, Psychologist: It’s very hard to change our personalities so not really! But there are other ways that can help us keep resolve. On the other hand, sometimes it’s best to work on accepting our perceived flaws or shortcomings rather than keep trying to change them.
Q: What are five ways we can make the most of our human tendencies to create New Year’s resolutions that will stick?
Karen Rowa, Psychologist:
- Make sure your resolutions are realistic. We tend to aim for lofty, life changing goals instead of small, realistic goals.
- Make sure your resolutions are actually important to you. We tend to do better if our goals and resolutions link with our greater values. So don’t make a resolution that you think you “should” make; aim for ones that speaks to your core values.
- Say it publicly! Making a commitment out loud tends to lead to greater accountability.
- Be ready for non-success. Be prepared to have to creatively try again if you aren’t sticking to your original resolution.
- If you’re comparing yourself to others and making your resolutions based on that, make sure you’re comparing yourself to someone who can be inspirational but not discouraging. For example, if you compare yourself to someone who is the best at something you’d like to work on, you may end up feeling discouraged. If you compare yourself to someone who is just a little bit better off than you on something you’re working on, this might be more encouraging.
Q: Have you ever made a resolution you kept or did not keep?
Karen Rowa, Psychologist: I received a beautiful orchid from a former student 1.5 years ago. I resolved to care for it as per instructions to try and actually keep it alive. I tend to have the opposite of a green thumb, but was very determined to succeed this once. I have kept up this resolution – I care for it exactly according to instructions and even have colleagues fill in for me if I’m away. It is more beautiful than ever and a source of great joy to me!
Have something you’d like to ask a St. Joe’s psychologist? Email publicaffairs@stjoes.ca
Karen Rowa, Ph.D. is a clinical psychologist at St. Joseph’s Healthcare Hamilton’s Anxiety Treatment and Research Centre and an associate professor at McMaster University.